What does it mean to be vulnerable? The dictionary meaning is "exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally."
I think there's more to it than that.
I think being vulnerable can be beautiful, strong and incredibly endearing. It allows others to see past the mask we wear day to day. It allows us to connect and bond with each other. When we're vulnerable, we let people in. It doesn't mean we are exposed to being attacked, it could be that we are exposed to being loved. Sometimes the most terrifying feeling of all.
I 'm going through a new stage of life, some of it fabulous and lots of it new and daunting. Being a self confessed control freak the unknown makes me vulnerable. These are the times I long for my mum. I really just want a hug from her. For her to give me some guidance. I don't have that so a lot of the time I look to my husband. I am so grateful for his support.
Over the weekend I began to feel completely overwhelmed and wasn't sure if I would be able to continue to tackle this on my own so I called Cherie.
Cherie has been my therapist for the past couple of years and she's really helped me a lot. I haven't seen her since my move back to Sydney a couple of months ago. I pride myself on being able to get myself out of a funk. Usually I meditate, have a session with Kat (my spiritual guide) exercise, lots of the times I eat and over eat, anything that moves my emotional state so I'm not sitting and dwelling in the muck.
But I tried all of my tools and still I felt wrong, uneasy and sad.
So I had my session with Cherie. The brilliant thing about therapy is the therapist can always see right through our defence mechanisms they can pin point what we're really doing, what the actual problem is. They get to the heart of the matter immediately. Cherie and I work really well together. It took me a long time to find someone who I really connected with. What I thought I was going to the session about was completely different to what is really going on with me.
It's confronting. It's uncomfortable and its real. Cherie has encouraged me to stay in a place of vulnerability.
What does that even mean?
She wants me to recognise if I am feeling vulnerable and instead of running, hiding and eating to overcome the feeling she suggests I nurture myself through it. Because through it comes all the strength and growth. A little vulnerability and anxiety for a lot of growth. I have to be honest it is really uncomfortable but I do feel I am moving through it rather than eating through it or avoiding it.
One of my favourite places of inspiration is "Ted" talks. Ted had Brene Brown share her thoughts on vulnerability this is probably my favourite Ted talk ever.