That gold dress, grieving and still following my bliss
So friends. I have been very negligent of the blog. Partly because I have been traumatized by one of my past posts and how it was received but also because life has become very busy. I promise I will be more committed. From the time I wrote the "Follow my bliss" post life has been good. Actually just writing that has reminded me to continue to follow my bliss. I have been meditating more (by more I mean twice for 5 minutes in the past fortnight) I am still integrating meditation into my life. I am training really hard and I have quit sugar!! I am so excited about this, apart from the "No drinking wine" I am really enjoying it. I have more energy, my skin is clear and I feel lighter.
The wedding is coming along wonderfully apart from some really sad family stuff.
On a brighter note Benj and I have finally (after a long 4 months and new jeweler) taken some huge steps in creating the engagement ring. Little things like that make it feel really real. I have never thought I would be the marrying type but I am so FREAKING excited to be a Marshall.
Tomorrow I am having my Nan, Nuna and Benj's mum over to teach me how to cook their most famous and delicious meals. I think this is really important to bond over food and learn from these women. I want to have these recipes in my heart for the rest of my life. I even love my Nunas Torta (big meat pie) sooooo much that it will be apart of the wedding menu.
I do wish my mum was here during these times. My heart aches for her.
I often think what would she think or guide me to do? I miss having her wisdom. I'm actually working on a blog post of the things I wish my mother told me. My therapist has warned me that as the wedding gets closer the grief will rear its ugly head. I really need to let it come. This scares the shit out of me. But it's inevitable and I just gotta let it come. She has told me to warn Benji. That it can be quite intense and overwhelming for him too, he has seen me like this. I know what she is talking about. I know that sadness all too well. It comes like a storm and feels so great when it's over. But letting it arise and feeling it... Whoa, it is scary. I can feel it building... I'll let you know how that goes..
Other than that, I have more work coming up, lets say some of it involves "Spring racing carnival". Very lucky for all the wonderful opportunities I have coming into my life.
And I must add on a gratitude note.... The gold dress was a hit and I was shocked and excited by how well received it was. Steven is a genius and I am blessed to have had the chance to wear his work.. Lets just say we will be working together on some really exciting ventures in the future.
Now off to bed to snuggle the man and the dog.