Ask and you shall receive: Relationships
This weeks question is from Kylie " What is your top 5 relationship advice?" What a question. I have been a relationship girl rather than a single girl. I have had my fair share of relationships and each one vital to teach my something I did or did not want in my next relationship.
1.The first thing I have learnt to be myself. When I was younger I would want someone to like me so I would kinda morph into what I thought they wanted. I was lying about who I was to please someone and ultimately I couldn't keep up the act and I lost myself in trying to make someone love me. Never lie about who you are. Be proud. You won't be everyone's cup of tea but at least you know that when you find your match, will be with you for you, they will love you for who you really are.
2. Respect yourself. When you meet someone you like, the beginning stages of a relationship is a very testing period. Be clear about your boundaries and be strong in your beliefs and whats important to you. If your partner is aggressive when they drink or starts fights in front of your mates that may be something you need to nip in the bud straight away. It is a learning period for both of you so be patient and kind.
3. Take your time. You don't need to be intimate with someone until you are comfortable and ready. I know how it feels being a young woman and wanting to please someone, worried that if you wait they might leave you for something easier. Don't rush anything you are not ready to do. If they like you they will wait. The feeling of regret or betraying yourself is an awful feeling to live with.
4. Be honest. Lead by example in your relationships. If you want to trust someone, be open yourself. As we all know a relationship is built on trust and where there is no trust there is no love. It takes only a moment to betray someone but it can take years to build that trust back so take care of your loved one. If you're unsure of the relationship or want to move on, be straight forward and up front no need to act without integrity.
5. Learn how to communicate. This has taken me some time and I am definitely not perfect at it. Communicating demands us to be vulnerable. Something I struggle with. I only learnt a couple of years ago if I want to be heard yelling, screaming and having a tantrum isn't very effective. Even when I am fuming with rage I try to express myself calmly and clearly. This way I am not creating the other person to be defensive, they are able to hear me and therefore I get my point across. I am still not an expert at this and some times say hurtful things in an argument (I know we have all been there) but the point is more damage than good is done when we say hurtful things sometimes its easier (or extremely hard but worth it) to explain calmly why your hurt and why you feel wronged. Be compassionate if your partner is trying to communicate with you also, they may be scared shitless to be vulnerable in front of you.
Love, peace and happiness.